Verbal Haze

Shredfest

Yesterday I was talking with someone I know from Vermont and how they have no professional sports teams whatsoever. Personally, I think Vermont needs some kind of sports team. Yes, there are more cows than people in Vermont and the type of people who live there aren’t generally disposed towards getting riled up to go to a sporting event as they would rather chill, get foggy, and listen to Phish and other such music. Nothing wrong with that, but what if Vermont did have a MLB team? Would it work? What if all the players wore headbands or bandannas instead of hats? Fuck the sun, they have sunglasses. What if their jerseys were just pure raggy shaggy hippie style shit, too? What if instead of cleats, they wore sandals? Nope that one’s retarded, sorry for the shitty joke. It probably wouldn’t work, and the players probably wouldn’t agree to it, but if I lived in Vermont and I had a team like that, that’d be my summer activity of choice. Baseball isn’t a very intense sport anyway, everyone could just go smoke bowls in the parking lot pre-game and chill like bros. They could even market the first few games with a post game Phish concert. Phish would definitely hit that up if the team existed. Might be a terrible idea, but I think it’d be hilarious watching those games. I thought it was a novel idea.

Anyway, Vermont does have a Single A baseball team called the Vermont Lakemonsters. Pretty baddass name, wonder what this mascot looks like…You can already see what it looks like in the image, but what you need to see is this shit. That, is badass, coolest mascot in sports, enough said. That mascot, and that name, may someday lead Vermont to glory in obtaining its first professional sports team.