The FCAIU (fuk-a-yoo, phonetically), receives this award after paying for an advertisement during the first game of the Utah Jazz/Denver Nuggets series and claiming that ‘Mello would win the NBA championship this year. The Nuggets then went on to lose in the FIRST ROUND, to the Utah Jazz…..

So not only did you epicly fail on the grounds that your prediction was completely wrong, and in fact, what happened was the opposite of what you predicted. Its called karma, FCAIU. What did you think would happen if you made such a bold claim as that, while the Nuggets were playing your hometown team.

I hope you were dumb enough to make t-shirts too, so everyone in Salt Lake will immediately know that you aren’t worth talking to.

Also, I am sticking you with the blame for a personal tragedy that has befallen me as a result of these events. What am I talking about? I’m talking about the fact that I am no longer afforded the pleasure of giggling whenever I hear someone say the word “Nuggets”. As in, “I’m going to watch the Nuggets game”, or “God the Nuggets are so fucking good”.

FCAIU, epic fail.

I think people really can take things too far, and not only that, but just be dead wrong when they get there. During the Nuggets game there was a commercial, paid for by the, I shit you not, the Fans of Carmello Anthony In Utah. That is capitalized for a reason people. That’s right, there are people in Utah who PAID for a commercial expressing their love for Carmello Anthony, during a Denver/Utah playoff game. That takes balls.

Not only that, but they were also bold enough to make the prediction that he was going to win the NBA championship. Correction, they must have gidankously big balls. It must have something to do with the polygamy.

Alright so I decided to share one of my favorite recipes with you all. If you enjoy Italian-style cuisine, this is just for you. One of the things that makes this sauce so great, is its versatility. This recipe is literally nothing but a base, where you can add so many different things to suit the occasion. Its great. Here is the basic/base recipe, :
Ingredients: 1 cup of milk/cream, 2 tablespoons of butter, 1 tablespoon of flour.
1. Melt butter over medium heat.
2. Add flour; continue to heat mixture, making sure not to burn.
3. Add milk/cream and stir.
4. Heat mixture thoroughly, boiling is ok but will thicken the mixture when cooled.

Now from here you can add just about anything. I even got crazy and tried putting in peanut butter once and drizzled it on pan-fried chicken breasts. It was so good. Here’s a list of things I’ve tried and why.
• Tomato/Marinara Sauce- Now what I did here is very important. Rather than make a full amount of sauce, I cut the ingredients down to about ¼ of what they usually are, and added the sauce. It made a delicious vodka-sauce like tomato-cream sauce that I put on spaghetti.
• American Cheese- Yup, this is a classic American Mac and Cheese Champion. I usually put this on more “royal” pasta like rigatoni, shells, ziti, etc.
• Parmesan Cheese and Salt- Delicious. You can put this on just about anything.

The point is that you can mix and match and put whatever flavors you want into this base-sauce and you will not be disappointed. I even had the crazy idea once to make a big batch with just peanut butter, and then take that, and some sort of fruit, probably apples, and make a pie with it. If anyone does that, send us a pic at verbal.haze.nuggets@gmail.com.

Old school style beats , Biggie rhymes , check it out.

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Winston does work.

Ill mixtape, get it.

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One day I was watching TV and I saw a familiar face: Smokey the Bear. I love Smokey. He always taught me about the lay of the land and reminded me of my responsibility to prevent fires in highly vegetated areas called “forests”. The alliteration that used to roll off of his bear-tongue with that heavy grizzly-bear accent is just a classic slogan. But neigh!

Today Smokey has changed his tune. The alliteration of “only you can prevent forest fires” has been completely destroyed. The 65 year old green-movement icon has gone senile. Smokey now says in every commercial “only you can prevent wild fires”.

This is a travesty folks; however, if you check out the new subtext for Smokeybear.com, you’ll find that they have come up with somewhat of an ironic new slogan “Get your smokey on”. While I see what they are trying to do (encourage you follow the example of Smokey), it may also encourage many rednecks who often camp and hunt in the woods to, in fact, get their smoke(y) on.

Smokey the Bear has really been trippin’ lately based on these two incidents of word conflagration. So Smokey now doubles as the forest fire prevention icon and is now embarking on a new quest to also be the favored icon of many stoners as he encourages them to “Get their smokey on”.

So kids, take the advice of our beloved bear and get your Smokey on but remember, if you ever want to do so while venturing through mother nature’s forests, think fire safety and use a bong.

Yesterday I was talking with someone I know from Vermont and how they have no professional sports teams whatsoever. Personally, I think Vermont needs some kind of sports team. Yes, there are more cows than people in Vermont and the type of people who live there aren’t generally disposed towards getting riled up to go to a sporting event as they would rather chill, get foggy, and listen to Phish and other such music. Nothing wrong with that, but what if Vermont did have a MLB team? Would it work? What if all the players wore headbands or bandannas instead of hats? Fuck the sun, they have sunglasses. What if their jerseys were just pure raggy shaggy hippie style shit, too? What if instead of cleats, they wore sandals? Nope that one’s retarded, sorry for the shitty joke. It probably wouldn’t work, and the players probably wouldn’t agree to it, but if I lived in Vermont and I had a team like that, that’d be my summer activity of choice. Baseball isn’t a very intense sport anyway, everyone could just go smoke bowls in the parking lot pre-game and chill like bros. They could even market the first few games with a post game Phish concert. Phish would definitely hit that up if the team existed. Might be a terrible idea, but I think it’d be hilarious watching those games. I thought it was a novel idea.

Anyway, Vermont does have a Single A baseball team called the Vermont Lakemonsters. Pretty baddass name, wonder what this mascot looks like…You can already see what it looks like in the image, but what you need to see is this shit. That, is badass, coolest mascot in sports, enough said. That mascot, and that name, may someday lead Vermont to glory in obtaining its first professional sports team.